I guess you could call this my Christmas post. One of the things that really bugs me right now in the film industry is the prevalent notion that selling movies is like selling potato chips. It's just another product being sold to consumers. I think this line of thinking comes from the whole MBA mentality that if you can sell one thing, you can sell anything. And I think it's that mentality that has severely wounded the DVD market in this country.
Let me ask you this, when is the last time you fell in love while eating a bag of potato chips? Or driven three hours to see a particular bag of potato chips? How many potato chips have you eaten 10, 20, 30 times? How many times have you eaten a bag of potato chips that was so good you wanted to tell everyone about it? How many times have you gotten together with your whole family to eat potato chips?
So many people in this biz seem to forget the show part of show business. We aren't selling potato chips, we're selling dreams, a little bit of escape. We're selling wonder. The greatest moguls of Hollywood have known this concept. If we could remember this in Hollywood, then maybe people would start buying movies again, instead of watching poorly made, mindless, reality shows on TV.
Well, that's my little rant for the day. Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Festivus, Winter Solstice, Kwanzaa or whatever you celebrate at this time of year. I hope you all had a good year and have an even better 2010.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
10 Things That Keep Screenplays From Selling
Usual Disclaimer: Everything written herein is solely my opinion. When it comes to screenwriting there are no hard and fast rules. There are tons of scripts out there that have one or two of these elements in them but sold anyway. I don't want to hear it. Also, I don't read scripts or work in acquisitions anymore. So don't send me your scripts, synopses, or queries letters. I will not read them. They will be discarded.
Back when I used to work in Acquisitions, I would be called upon from time to time to read scripts. And there were certain elements that would appear again and again and would quickly kill any interest in the script.
So, without further ado, here is my list of 10 things that keep screenplays from selling, in no particular order.
1. Length: You know how they say size doesn't matter? That's bullshit. When you're sitting down to a stack of scripts to read for the weekend, there's nothing I dread more than opening up a 150 page script. Unless you're writing an epic film to be directed by Peter Jackson, cut it down. Even if you are, cut it down. Nobody is going to read the whole thing anyways. Quick word of advice: the shorter scripts always got read first, unless there is hot talent attached. In that case, you don't need my advice. Stop reading and just go sell your script.
2. First 10 pages: It's Saturday night, you want to go out for drinks with your friends. But you gotta just get through this script. You're ten pages into it and you have no idea where it's going and nothing has happened. Do you keep reading the script? Or do you toss it aside and head on out the door? Your first 10 pages will kill you. Something has to happen in the first ten minutes of the film. Most readers have short attention spans and will decide within the first 10 pages whether they like the script or not. Save the exposition for later. You gotta grab them in the first 10 pages or they'll start thinking about their laundry, or the cute guy/gal at work and you've lost already.
3. It's So Pretty! If you wanna kill your script even earlier, draw some pictures of flowers on the cover. Or post your favorite poem. Or make a nice color photocopy of your favorite painting that helps to set the mood for the script. Don't do it! You may feel the need. But don't! If you absolutely have to include a quote or poem put it on page one at the top. Then realize it's going to be thrown out anyways by the director or the person they hire to rewrite your script. So why waste your time. Focus on the script.
4. Font Size: 12 point Courier. Nothing else. Nothing screams unprofessional more than seeing this! It doesn't make your dialogue more dramatic. It just makes you look like a tool. You're not a cartoonist. Just don't.
5. Exposition: Who needs to actually show the audience anything? You can just have a character say it in dialogue to the other characters! That's not awkward at all! "Remember the time I took you out dancing and you were wearing a blue dress just like the one you are wearing now? And a guy came up to you and asked you for the time? And remember how I blah blah blah blah..." No I don't remember. Why don't you just show me? It's a visual medium. You aren't writing a play. My favorite is the old "What's going on?" "I'm General Bigpants! And there is a large asteroid headed for the Earth and if we do not launch the space shuttle and send some people up there to destroy it, we will all die in about an hour and a half!" I'm bored already.
Action is story. They always say you judge a man by his actions, not by his words. You can shout "I'm not a murderer" all you want. But the bloody axe in your hands and dead body at your feet suggests otherwise.
6. Too specific: This is another pet peeve of mine:
"John put on his Nike tennis shoes. Then he took a drink drink of Coca-Cola while turning on his Emerson stereo system. AC/DC's song "Let There Be Rock" blasts from the speakers. John picks up his copy of John Steinbeck's "The Pearl" and thumbs through it."
When I read stuff like this my brain explodes. I'm trying to remember all of these items because they must be important if they're mentioned by name. And I have to look up the song if I'm not familiar with it. And do I need to know the story of The Pearl to understand the movie? By then I'm lost and ready to move on to the next script.
7. Generic Characters: Another great way to confuse the reader, characters! Who needs characters that are all distinct? If one character is good, then twenty is better! I don't know how many times I've been reading a script where I had to go back and try to remember which character is which. The worst is when there is a scene between five guys, all in their 20's with the same characteristics and they're named Chad, Brad, Ben, Fred, Charlie, and Bob. At least name one of them Moishe or Juan or Vladimir. If the character names, or actions, or dialogue are too similar, it's easy to get lost.
8. Who cares? Too many scripts wind up the same as they are in the beginning. Nothing changes. Nothing happens. Nobody learns anything. So what's the point? At the very least, someone should have learned something. It's better if the change is more significant. Someone has died. People have broken up. Someone has fallen in love. Something has to have happened. Otherwise, why tell the story?
9. That leads to my next point. What's it all about? Can you summarize it in a sentence? Because guess what? The reader is going to have to the next morning when they tell their boss about the script they just read. If the answer is "It's a story about a guy and a girl who something happens and then this happens and then that happens, etc. etc." You're screwed. You haven't gotten your point across. If you have trouble with this, just read the TV Guide or the listings on your Tivo. They do a pretty good job of summarizing movies in a sentence or two.
Examples:
from tv.yahoo.com
Planes, Trains and Automobiles - John Hughes tale about a snob (Steve Martin) and a slob (John Candy) who keep running into trouble---and each other---en route home for Thanksgiving.
10. What's the trailer? You need 3 good scenes. First, potential stars are thinking "What scenes are gonna get me my Oscar?". Second, the potential producer is thinking "How am I gonna sell this?" Third, the director is thinking "Which scenes are gonna enable me to show off my brilliance?" You gotta have scenes that are gonna wind up in the trailer, on youtube, and to run on all the chat shows while they are trying to promote the movie.
That's it for now. Hope this helped some of you. But then, I'm sure all of your scripts are perfect and don't fall into any of these traps, right?
Back when I used to work in Acquisitions, I would be called upon from time to time to read scripts. And there were certain elements that would appear again and again and would quickly kill any interest in the script.
So, without further ado, here is my list of 10 things that keep screenplays from selling, in no particular order.
1. Length: You know how they say size doesn't matter? That's bullshit. When you're sitting down to a stack of scripts to read for the weekend, there's nothing I dread more than opening up a 150 page script. Unless you're writing an epic film to be directed by Peter Jackson, cut it down. Even if you are, cut it down. Nobody is going to read the whole thing anyways. Quick word of advice: the shorter scripts always got read first, unless there is hot talent attached. In that case, you don't need my advice. Stop reading and just go sell your script.
2. First 10 pages: It's Saturday night, you want to go out for drinks with your friends. But you gotta just get through this script. You're ten pages into it and you have no idea where it's going and nothing has happened. Do you keep reading the script? Or do you toss it aside and head on out the door? Your first 10 pages will kill you. Something has to happen in the first ten minutes of the film. Most readers have short attention spans and will decide within the first 10 pages whether they like the script or not. Save the exposition for later. You gotta grab them in the first 10 pages or they'll start thinking about their laundry, or the cute guy/gal at work and you've lost already.
3. It's So Pretty! If you wanna kill your script even earlier, draw some pictures of flowers on the cover. Or post your favorite poem. Or make a nice color photocopy of your favorite painting that helps to set the mood for the script. Don't do it! You may feel the need. But don't! If you absolutely have to include a quote or poem put it on page one at the top. Then realize it's going to be thrown out anyways by the director or the person they hire to rewrite your script. So why waste your time. Focus on the script.
4. Font Size: 12 point Courier. Nothing else. Nothing screams unprofessional more than seeing this! It doesn't make your dialogue more dramatic. It just makes you look like a tool. You're not a cartoonist. Just don't.
5. Exposition: Who needs to actually show the audience anything? You can just have a character say it in dialogue to the other characters! That's not awkward at all! "Remember the time I took you out dancing and you were wearing a blue dress just like the one you are wearing now? And a guy came up to you and asked you for the time? And remember how I blah blah blah blah..." No I don't remember. Why don't you just show me? It's a visual medium. You aren't writing a play. My favorite is the old "What's going on?" "I'm General Bigpants! And there is a large asteroid headed for the Earth and if we do not launch the space shuttle and send some people up there to destroy it, we will all die in about an hour and a half!" I'm bored already.
Action is story. They always say you judge a man by his actions, not by his words. You can shout "I'm not a murderer" all you want. But the bloody axe in your hands and dead body at your feet suggests otherwise.
6. Too specific: This is another pet peeve of mine:
"John put on his Nike tennis shoes. Then he took a drink drink of Coca-Cola while turning on his Emerson stereo system. AC/DC's song "Let There Be Rock" blasts from the speakers. John picks up his copy of John Steinbeck's "The Pearl" and thumbs through it."
When I read stuff like this my brain explodes. I'm trying to remember all of these items because they must be important if they're mentioned by name. And I have to look up the song if I'm not familiar with it. And do I need to know the story of The Pearl to understand the movie? By then I'm lost and ready to move on to the next script.
7. Generic Characters: Another great way to confuse the reader, characters! Who needs characters that are all distinct? If one character is good, then twenty is better! I don't know how many times I've been reading a script where I had to go back and try to remember which character is which. The worst is when there is a scene between five guys, all in their 20's with the same characteristics and they're named Chad, Brad, Ben, Fred, Charlie, and Bob. At least name one of them Moishe or Juan or Vladimir. If the character names, or actions, or dialogue are too similar, it's easy to get lost.
8. Who cares? Too many scripts wind up the same as they are in the beginning. Nothing changes. Nothing happens. Nobody learns anything. So what's the point? At the very least, someone should have learned something. It's better if the change is more significant. Someone has died. People have broken up. Someone has fallen in love. Something has to have happened. Otherwise, why tell the story?
9. That leads to my next point. What's it all about? Can you summarize it in a sentence? Because guess what? The reader is going to have to the next morning when they tell their boss about the script they just read. If the answer is "It's a story about a guy and a girl who something happens and then this happens and then that happens, etc. etc." You're screwed. You haven't gotten your point across. If you have trouble with this, just read the TV Guide or the listings on your Tivo. They do a pretty good job of summarizing movies in a sentence or two.
Examples:
from tv.yahoo.com
First Blood - Sylvester Stallone is a former Green Beret waging a one-man war against police and the National Guard in the Pacific Northwest.
Failure to Launch - The exasperated parents of a 35-year-old ladies man who won't move out of the house hire a woman who specializes in luring men to leave the nest.Planes, Trains and Automobiles - John Hughes tale about a snob (Steve Martin) and a slob (John Candy) who keep running into trouble---and each other---en route home for Thanksgiving.
10. What's the trailer? You need 3 good scenes. First, potential stars are thinking "What scenes are gonna get me my Oscar?". Second, the potential producer is thinking "How am I gonna sell this?" Third, the director is thinking "Which scenes are gonna enable me to show off my brilliance?" You gotta have scenes that are gonna wind up in the trailer, on youtube, and to run on all the chat shows while they are trying to promote the movie.That's it for now. Hope this helped some of you. But then, I'm sure all of your scripts are perfect and don't fall into any of these traps, right?
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